’Twas the Ledge before Christmas when all through the house…

By: George Lee, Local Journalism Initiative Reporter

Elected representatives from ridings strung far and wide brighten Alberta’s legislative proceedings each December via seasonally adjusted commentary.

Some might say “dullen” is a better descriptor.

But rarely dissuaded by groans and snarls, your elected denizens delivered lumpy coal invocations, strained allusions to Christmas classics, marginally poetic turkeys and even some Jesus-like goodwill.

Some Seuss in the House?

Apparently aiming for a Seussian rhyme scheme, Nolan Dyck of the UCP began his Christmas tale this way: “Well, gather all ’round, it is time for a story.  It might make a ruckus, and for that I am sorry. But Alberta is thriving, and for that I am not. Twenty thousand new jobs: our province is hot.”

The Grande Prairie MLA’s ode to prosperity included jingly bits like “Albertans are cheering, even CBC, Albertans, that is, except the NDP,” and “Construction and trades, manufacturing, more: Albertans work hard all the way to the core.”

Dyck also emoted:  “The kids are back working, the numbers are growing. And the bad unemployment? Well, it’s happily slowing. Restaurants and health care and hotels and more:  They’re all making jobs. Our economy soars. But we are not stopping. There’s much more to come.”

There was.

A similarly themed but more localized ditty rose from the floor courtesy Justin Wright.

A UCP member from a constituency far, far away from the North Pole, Wright of Cypress-Medicine Hat went with a drastic rewrite of perhaps the most revisited and adulterated Christmas poem of them all, A Visit from St. Nicholas.

He recounted to his colleagues: “ ’Twas the season of progress in Medicine Hat town, When visions of growth were swirling around. Our community gathered with pride in the air, For investments and milestones we’re eager to share.”

Wright went on to wax poetic about collegiate schools, construction of a new urgent care centre and spending on water infrastructure.

“As winter winds whisper, a fresh new year in sight, let’s celebrate progress with hearts warm and bright.”

Poetry and Paycheques

While Wright and Dyck spun rhymes, the Opposition honed in on UCP bank accounts in the new year.

Pay bumps for all nine parliamentary secretaries did not go unnoticed by grumpy Santas on the NDP side of the house, who clearly put the UCP on their naughty lists.

The two poets-of-the-moment are parliamentary secretaries. Wright’s extra duties are for rural health, south, and Dyck’s are for Indigenous and rural policing.

“The last thing a single Albertan has called for when they’re struggling to pay the bills is a pay raise for the UCP politicians,” said NDP Leader Naheed Nenshi.

The member for Edmonton-Strathcona, Nenshi entertained visions of parliamentary secretaries doing their Christmas shopping — and having to engage with minimum wage earners to justify the increase.

The government “hid that little nugget” in a bill introduced a month before Christmas. “Why does the premier want to give her nine parliamentary secretaries a raise, paid for by Albertans, in an affordability crisis?” Nenshi asked.

Nate Horner, the finance minister, called the decision defensible and said the government was “as transparent as possible.” 

The MLA for Drumheller-Stettler, Horner said the increase decision was made after “a cross-jurisdictional analysis” of other provinces with parliamentary secretaries. The bump reflects extra travel that comes with “representing all Albertans, not just their constituents.”

Quipped Nenshi: “So we do cross-jurisdictional analysis when it’s politicians, but we don’t do it when it’s minimum wage earners.”

The last pay bump for minimum wage earners was in 2018 when the NDP were in power. The UCP stance is that the government is taking its time to make sure legislation doesn’t trigger job losses.

In the meantime, Alberta’s minimum wage has dropped to the lowest in the country.

The amount of the parliamentary secretary allowance has yet to be arrived upon or at least publicized.

Lumps of Coal

Overall, the Opposition’s seasonal sprinklings skewed towards Christmas cliches and metaphors rather than poetry. The tone was usually less than jovial.

Lorne Dach asked: “Why is this government giving lumps of coal to regular Albertans but expensive gifts for their friends and insiders?” 

Dach, the transportation and economic corridors shadow minister and the member for Edmonton-McClung, juxtaposed wreaths on the office doors of UCP ministers with “record numbers of Albertans” visiting food banks. He spoke of charges for COVID-19 shots and health card renewals, and the removal of a rate cap on utilities.

Nathan Neudorf, the affordability and utilities minister and the UCP member for Lethbridge-East, responded that “every single ministry (is) making life more affordable and making life better for Albertans.”

He zinged: “The greatest gift that we gave all Albertans happened twice in the last six years, and that’s making sure the NDP were not re-elected, as they cost hundreds of millions of jobs and hundreds of billions of dollars. We’re a government that looks to put the people of Alberta first.”

Kathleen Ganley, the NDP member for Calgary-Mountainview, implied that the UCP will see its goose cooked in the next election.

The government “isn’t any more broke than Ebenezer Scrooge was,” said Ganley, the party’s caucus whip. “While Albertans wait outside in the cold, (and) see no action on costs or wages, the UCP members find a way to give themselves raises.”

She continued: “Maybe this government is waiting for a visit from the three ghosts to help them see the world as it is, but that’s not what Albertans are waiting for; they’re waiting for a new government.”

The Biblical Reason for the Season

Some MLAs chose to take a pause from sweeping elves from the shelves opposite to invoke the Christ part of Christmas.

“Jesus invites us to be peacemakers, to seek forgiveness, to learn to forgive and to be a blessing to our families,” said Jennifer Johnson, the UCP member for Lacombe-Ponoka.

This season is “a time of generosity and an opportunity for us to reflect,” she said. 

Johnson did sneak some small-community exceptionalism into her message. “Around Alberta and especially in constituencies like Lacombe-Ponoka, values like community and compassion are the core driving factors that unite our neighbours,” she opined.

“These values are foundational in Christianity, and they have very clearly shaped Albertans and the institutions that they rely on.”

Scott Cyr, the UCP member for Bonnyville-Cold Lake-St. Paul, shared the lesson behind Christianity’s most celebrated rural road trip.

An exhausted Mary and Joseph finally reached Bethlehem, where “every door was closed to them” before a stable was offered, Cyr said in his retelling of Christianity’s origin story.

“It was cold, quiet, but it was all they had, so in that humble place, surrounded by straw and the soft rustling of animals, Mary went into labour. There, in the most unexpected of settings, she brought Jesus into the world,” he said.

Cyr concluded that “hope was born. . .quietly, humbly and in a way that changed the world forever. It is that exact hope that continues to circulate the world today and reminds us that even in the most ordinary moments, God is still at work in your lives.

“As the Christmas season begins, may the hope rise within us again, guiding our steps, strengthening our spirit and illuminating our world in the same light that first shone on Bethlehem.”

Lizette Tejada, raised with Catholic traditions, called December “a time of anticipation, joy and reflection on Jesus’s entry into the world.”

The NDP’s critic for immigration and multiculturalism, she spoke of the good works of churches and faiths of all kinds, providing spiritual sanctuary, addressing food insecurity and taking care of neighbours. 

Concluded Tejada, the member for Calgary-Klein:  “This Christmas and holiday season, while we cherish time with our loved ones, let’s also commit to a new year of seeking justice and dignity for all. Let’s think about those without housing, the underemployed, the underpaid, new Canadians who are our neighbours and all vulnerable communities. Let’s commit to a courageous future where we work to remedy the structural injustices within our power to change. 

“I wish everyone here a very Merry Christmas and happy holidays.”

To the Top of the Dome

As his role requires, Speaker Ric McIver signed off the fall sitting in a charitable way.

“Some of us might be tired, the roads might be tough, it’s dark out: get home safely, please,” he said. “I hope you get to spend time with those you love.

“Thank you for the important work that we do here. It’s not always pretty, but five million Albertans are depending upon us. Thank you for being part of that.”

Wait, wait, Mr. Speaker. You didn’t hear The Macleod Gazette’s contribution:

“ ’Twas the month before Christmas when all through the house, the politicians they bristled with reasons to grouse. The brickbats were hurled ’cross the floor with great care, in the hopes that the Speaker would consider them fair.”

And then the big send-off: “To the top of the dome! to the heights of the squall! Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!”